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Do You Teach Your Spouse/partner How To Treat You, Especially When Men Get Comfortable?

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Do You Teach Your Spouse/partner How To Treat You, Especially When Men Get Comfortable?

Postby Baldrick » Fri Oct 06, 2017 8:25 am

I love my boyfriend. I appreciate who he is and what does for us - he spends his time, energy, and money but most importantly I'm proud of the person he is and just happy to be with him. We're both definitely not perfect but sometimes I feel like he's so lazy. I I know he's a hardworking person - work, family, fixes things, etc... but with little things like talking on the phone with me...he just dies after 2 minutes. I always volunteer to let him go but the fact that he still wants to stay on the phone and he's literally dead is the most annoying thing. I'll text or tell him "good night" and he either: 1. calls me back and does the same thing - literally dying but tries to keep me on or 2. does nothing at all. I don't ask anything from him honestly and I get your tired at the end of the night but why can't you give me a decent conversation? I'm not clingy, I have my own life, super independent-minded, \ Both of us acknowledge that one of the things that make us special is that we can talk to each other, in which we can't do with anyone else. I think for me personally, it's just a big need in a relationship and it's something I just can't do with anybody. It's nothing but just a recap about the day, our own individual ideas, expressing beliefs, etc... it's all positive.

I guess I'm just frustrated because it's been like this for 4 months. We've spoken about it before and everytime, he says "sorry" and it's good for a while until it becomes repetitive again. I don't need anything else but just a conversation. My bf is someone who is more emotional/sensitive and it more aware/considerate compared to the "average guy" but it does have it's challenges.He says one of the reasons why he loves us is that we can talk, he feels himself and say what he needs to (bc he keeps things to himself most of the time) but why would I waste my time with someone who's not really there? I don't want to be a B8tch or be difficult but I see this as respect - if someone is not being respectful and wasting my time (especially after working on this for months), then I'm afraid I'm not going to be having phone conversations with him; it just seems mutual respect for me. Why waste time on people who won't waste time on you? I emailed him saying that we just can't communicate or have conversations on the phone anymore bc I've just given up on it. I guess I'm doing this because if someone hasn't been reciprocating what I've been asking then surrender. If it's important to him and knows how it is to me, as he says he does, I hope time away from the phone will allow him to GET IT. I want to show him what it's like to not have our conversations and sorry but sometimes guys don't really get it until they don't have something anymore. Sometimes, they need a reminder that once it's attainable, doesn't mean it's always their and permanent. And I guess it's good for me to just stay away from that for a while and not be so "into this", reground and detox myself..to humble myself again bc (not only him) but I'm sure there are times when I do take our time/conversations on the phone for granted. We're not breaking up; I just told him he can't call and have conversations with me anymore. He read my email this morning and literally called 83 times within a half hour, saying this is a big mistake and is looking for other solutions . I admire his effort but this has happened before - he makes solutions and gets comfortable. I hope I'm doing the right thing...I just know I have faith and trust with this...it's easy for guys to get comfortable. I'm not doing this TO him or to hurt him but for him (and myself included) to realize that conversations are not to be taken for granted, especially if it's a need for one of us; it's huge because it's what makes us, us..
Baldrick
 
Posts: 54
Joined: Sun Mar 09, 2014 1:56 am

Do You Teach Your Spouse/partner How To Treat You, Especially When Men Get Comfortable?

Postby Ozzie » Sun Oct 08, 2017 1:21 pm

Some people enjoy talking on the phone for hours, others don't. You two don't seem compatible in this aspect of your relationship, but since you are happy together, you shouldn't allow this to bother you.
Ozzie
 
Posts: 47
Joined: Sat Jan 04, 2014 8:19 am


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