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Wife Spends ton of Money but tells me she's too broke to Pitch in On Bills?

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Wife Spends ton of Money but tells me she's too broke to Pitch in On Bills?

Postby eimar » Mon Nov 12, 2012 12:55 pm

It sounds like you are both living above your means. Technically, you shouldn't need more than your $100,000 salary to make ends meet...

Anyhow, I think your other problem is that you two "split the bills" and have "separate accounts" to handle finances. Of course it doesn't work. You're married. You have to deal with your finances as a team.

My advice is that you set up a few appointments with a financial advisor and go TOGETHER. Learn to deal with your bills TOGETHER. The myth of the separate account is a lie...there is no way to not share finances when married and living together in the same home.

EDIT: Based on another's comment perhaps my point was unclear. Are your wife's financial habits not affecting you b/c she has her own account? Ha ha! Of course her spending habits are affecting you. And if you were to get divorced tomorrow not only would you have all the regular expenses (lawyer, etc.) but you would be responsible for half of her credit card bills, etc. (at least in my state). Some couples try to "wipe away" the uncomfortable money compromises by separating accounts, but as you are discovering it's not always that simple!

Regardless of whether you maintain separate accounts or not you two will have to come to a joint understanding of financial priorities and expenditures. You need to decide as a couple on a general framework of how money gets spent and when. It doesn't mean you'll keep tabs on each other's every move or that you'll agree on everything. (For instance, you can still let her see her parents twice per year if it's important to her.) But being a team does mean that the two of you should be more aware of where the money goes and if the spending is in line with your current and future goals.

Separating your accounts and splitting bills does not ensure that one person's financial decisions do not impact the other person! Imo it often has the opposite result as both people feel that they don't have to agree on anything...

(That said, I do think separate accounts protect people in a divorce from someone being sleezy and stealing the other person's hard-earned money from the joint account. If you think she would do that to you or that you would do that to her then perhaps separate is better, esp. if you two are seriously contemplating divorce.)
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Wife Spends ton of Money but tells me she's too broke to Pitch in On Bills?

Postby gregor » Mon Nov 12, 2012 1:03 pm

Empty the joint checking and savings accounts and cut up her credit cards. See how she likes getting declined when she goes shopping.
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Joined: Tue Oct 30, 2012 1:06 am


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