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Should I Leave My Boyfriend.?

Unemployment Insurance and Employment Discussion

Should I Leave My Boyfriend.?

Postby Adolphus » Fri Sep 29, 2017 2:49 am

My boyfriend has been living with me for about a year and a half.
During the first few months of living with me he was working.
He didn't pay me any rent, or help with bills/groceries, and after discussing this with him, the situation didn't improve.
He quit his job and has now been unemployed (no unemployment insurance either) for almost a year.
During this time he has worked odd jobs, and has somewhat looked for employment, but to be honest his search didn't really start until recently (due to his inability to pay for his basic living expenses...car, insurance, phone, etc.).
I'm more than beyond frustrated.
I too have been unemployed, receiving unemployment insurance, and could really use the help.
He has helped me with doing some projects around the house.
And I am appreciative of this.
However, I do not think this eliminates his responsibility from helping with household finances.
I want to believe that he will eventually help financially, but there is a part of me that is in disbelief.
When I try to talk to him about the situation he gets defensive.
I know he is depressed as of late, so I try to not say a whole lot, but sometimes I just can't help it.
I have made 3 of his car payments, and to be honest, I could really use that money for other things.
He says he feels awful that his girlfriend pays for everything.
However, I still can't help but wonder if this is true.
He has had a couple job opportunities come his way, but passes them up for various reasons (one was with a temporary company and he felt insulted to have to work at this level).
While I agree, I would be more concerned about paying my bills than the level of my job.
I am trying to be compassionate, but losing my patience with each passing day.
I don't want to push him over the edge, but feel he may need a kick in the butt to get things going.
Should I dump him?
Posts: 45
Joined: Fri Feb 21, 2014 9:22 pm

Should I Leave My Boyfriend.?

Postby Kegan » Fri Sep 29, 2017 3:16 am

Yes. A relationship should be all about fairness, not one person doing most/all of the work while the other one says 'how they feel bad.' If they felt bad, they would have taken those job offers in a heartbeat.
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Joined: Fri Jan 03, 2014 4:03 am

Should I Leave My Boyfriend.?

Postby Neo » Fri Sep 29, 2017 7:08 am

At one point I was in your boyfriend's situation but i didn't full took advantage of it like how he did. Reality hit me when i was alone where I need to find a job quick. I have a degree and have work experience but I started working at a warehouse then tried to find a proper job at the same time. I did feel my dignity was at stake but i rather have my food on my plate and bills paid then have nothing. First he needs to establish that for himself. I realize there is no way anyone can support a family if i dont put on my plate for myself first; let alone of another. You have to support yourself, to have food and bills paid too. In turn you will be able to support your man if ever he needs it. It seems you are willing to what it takes to support a family even it means to work flip burgers but he needs that attitute too.
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Joined: Thu Jan 02, 2014 2:43 pm

Should I Leave My Boyfriend.?

Postby Ephram » Fri Sep 29, 2017 9:07 am

sounds like to me you know what you need to do. Any answer on the web wont change the facts. It is what it is. Just the fact that the word love was not mentioned one time says... Your more of roommates or friends with benifits. If you were deep in love throwing him out would never been an option.
put him out on his own two feet and find a real man who will work at anything to pay the wolf at the door.......good luck
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Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2014 2:11 pm

Should I Leave My Boyfriend.?

Postby Matteo » Sat Sep 30, 2017 8:04 am

yes u should dump him nice lady!
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Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2014 12:36 am

Should I Leave My Boyfriend.?

Postby Tynan » Sat Sep 30, 2017 5:23 pm

you need to leave him hes only taking advantage of you, you deserve way better than him someone that is going to love you, respect you, and actually help you not even make you work your just wasting your time with these guy..move on you deserve better!!!
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Joined: Thu Feb 20, 2014 2:34 pm

Should I Leave My Boyfriend.?

Postby Delmore » Mon Oct 02, 2017 3:33 am

If u wanna, If i was him id dump u though for asking that question here.
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Joined: Fri Jan 31, 2014 2:53 am

Should I Leave My Boyfriend.?

Postby Chatwin » Mon Oct 02, 2017 11:09 pm

it is terrible, i think that she could desire to easily write him a be conscious asserting she deserved extra and is going to look for it. no clarification mandatory. she needs to get remote from a guy like this. i latterly observed that to ensure that a realationship to artwork with all people, the two human beings could desire to have an analogous purpose to life. it makes it extra handy that way. he for sure has no objectives exterior of having extra weed and he or she does. take it from me, i left from college and left an ex boyfriend devoid of life at the back of. it became tricky, we dated all intense college, in spite of the undeniable fact that it became the suited element i'm going to have carried out, i met new human beings and experienced stuff i wouldent have if i might have stayed with him. she needs to flow away and not seem returned. i know it extra handy stated that carried out yet tell her to do it for herself, if she remains with him, he wont comprehend her and he or she needs to have extra comprehend for herself that to waste her life with him. nevermind the "hes been abuse" if he has then he could desire to not extra useful that to abuse her. additionally, any guy who says i desire to f*** her or shes warm ect, has no project doing it if he can, he already admitted to it, it extremely is the toughest section.
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Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2014 9:04 am

Should I Leave My Boyfriend.?

Postby Niichaad » Mon Oct 02, 2017 11:57 pm

The man's role is to provide. Period. If he lacks that sense that he needs to provide at least for himself and it seems he has grown comfortable with you supporting him then he is not a man. I had an ex that lived with me for 5 months that would do basic chores (and a half-*** job at that) and he had a job for two weeks. Yes, two weeks before he got fired for goofing off. Instead of contributing to the groceries that he was getting fat off eating (literally, he gained about 20 lbs), paying for gas so I can drive him around, rent, utilities, etc he bought himself gadgets and pot.

I regret EVER supporting that loser and he gave me the same lines that your boyfriend is giving you. If he really felt bad about his situation he would have taken that temp job because a man who has a need to provide will take anything he can get so he can feel like he's doing something at least.

Do not pay any more of his bills, period. I know you love him and want to be there but he is a grown man and needs to take care of himself. He made his bed and now he has to lay in it. Don't be his mommy. You have your own bills and own financial woes.

He should be on that computer for hours everyday on job websites, walking around town turning in resumes and becoming a "street warrior" until he finds a job. End of story. Stop supporting and enabling this mooch.
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Joined: Thu Jan 02, 2014 8:12 pm

Should I Leave My Boyfriend.?

Postby derby53 » Fri Oct 06, 2017 10:18 am

yes a relationship is about fairness and the way the guy treats or the you treat him my advice is to talk to him about it and see what he says

good luck!!!!!!
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Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 6:32 am


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