You know, you don't have to be perfect. No one's asking you to. In fact, you know what? Who CARES about getting in a relationship, about fitting in and being like everyone else? You are unique! You were made as an individual for a reason, for a purpose.There could be something in this world that you, and only you could do.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself and go searching for that purpose! Go chase after your dreams. Your personality and your past experiences could help so many people. Believe in yourself! Go on ,try! Prove your mum wrong. Prove everyone wrong. Prove yourSELF wrong. Show yourself that you are worth something and that you can do something with your life. Nothing's going to change if you just sit at your computer, feeling sorry for yourself. You said you want to change? Well change. Just don't become someone you're not. You're in your own skin for a reason!

You know, you don't have to be perfect. No one's asking you to. In fact, you know what? Who CARES about getting in a relationship, about fitting in and being like everyone else? You are unique! You were made as an individual for a reason, for a purpose.There could be something in this world that you, and only you could do.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself and go searching for that purpose! Go chase after your dreams. Your personality and your past experiences could help so many people. Believe in yourself! Go on ,try! Prove your mum wrong. Prove everyone wrong. Prove yourSELF wrong. Show yourself that you are worth something and that you can do something with your life. Nothing's going to change if you just sit at your computer, feeling sorry for yourself. You said you want to change? Well change. Just don't become someone you're not. You're in your own skin for a reason!

Good thing is you are aware that you are making a mess. You can put it right because you know where you are going wrong.

You sound like a good person, hearing you beat yourself up like that genuinely makes me sad. Your mother sounds like an awful person, do not let her get you down. You are not a bad person, do not think of yourself like that.

Have you considered getting a part time job to occupy yourself? Its okay that you arent good at social relations, just find something else to keep yourself occupied. Maybe you should pick up a hobby that will help relieve some of your emotions. Writing and art are about therapeutic.