My husband is 23 years old. We have been married for 2 years. He has been in the military for almost five years now.
Before my husband and I got married, he had his car insurance in the same policy as his mom's. He asked her to remove it though because he was stationed in Japan for 2 years and wasn't gonna use his car- therefore not needing the insurance. His mother kept it though because her younger son used my husband's car for those 2 years. That means, his mother paid for the insurance for those 2 years.
After we got married, my husband asked me to live with his mom because his brother was graduating and leaving. So I did. When I asked her how much money she needed for bills every month, she told me not to give her anything, so I didn't. But when my husband was on leave from Japan, she complained to him that she couldn't pay because she didn't have enough money. My husband told her he'd help her (after being upset with me because he thought I didn't offer to help) and we began paying for the electicity and water bills. House related, the only bills she had to pay would be the propane gas bill, and the house phone bill- a grand total of about $100 a month while we had to pay almost 400 every month plus our own bills (abt 300/month). After a few months of US struggling to get our budget together, he told her he was dropping the water bill onto her which would leave us with the electric bill at $350/month.
A few months after we moved out, she called him and told him she had received a "Final Notice" from the electic company because the bill hadnt been paid for 3 months.
I told him it wasn't our problem because we were 500 miles away and he agreed but still gave her a month's worth to help her get current.
All this time, they had their insurance together, each paying for half.
But now that my husband wants to change his car insurance, he doesn't want to include her in the policy. When he told her, she got REALLY REALLY REALLY upset and started yelling stuff at him over the phone until I finally took it away and hung up.
Now, my husband doesn't know what to do- He knows he wants to go through with the insurance company change, but he doesnt want his mom to hate him. She called back a week later and told him he should know it's his responsibility to take care of her too (she's a hardcore mexican who thinks kids are supposed to give their parents everything once the kids are old enough to get a job) but my husband told her his only responsibility was his family (me and him) and she got mad again.
So...... how do we deal with this?
His father is still alive and makes a BOAT LOAD of money but my mother in law hates him and wont take any money from him (even though they're still married) and her other son is now in the military but she won't ask him for any help at all.... I just don't think it's fair and my husband is desperate and frustrated. He doesn't want to upset his mother, but he can't keep paying for her stuff when she makes $500 a week from her Jewelry business....