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I Need Help To Correct My English Essay Plz :)?

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I Need Help To Correct My English Essay Plz :)?

Postby Taffy » Mon Sep 25, 2017 11:33 pm

I have to write an essay about the fear I can have about a trip, could anyone correct it plz ? :)

« We must travel in the direction of our fears » (Berryman, John)

According to me, this quote sums up the whole underlying interest of my gap year (or of any travel generally speaking). Of course if one decides to go in a foreign country, the aim is to meet people with another culture, to discover new places and also to improve your language skills. However I think that a year-long travel experience should be the occasion to learn more about me and to surpass myself. All the things I will go through during one year will hopefully make me become more independent and resourceful.


A gap year is not a random trip : you leave your family and friends for a very long time and it is very important to be prepared to it. Even though I do not usually have homesickness when I am abroad, this experience is going to be different because it will be harder to see my family since I have to work. Indeed I will not be able to come back really often. This is probably the only ?real? disadvantage of such an experience. Of course I am not saying that I am not going to miss my family but I hope that I will be able to see this difficulty as a challenge. Maybe it will be hard some days and I will probably miss my entourage but I think that the more important is also to see how much I will gain culturally speaking.

One of my main apprehensions about this travel is its preparation. Of course if it is only about things such as clothes you can still manage to come back on your free time or ask someone to send it where you live. I am more anxious concerning all the documents such as identity card, European health insurance card? But this is of course is the kind of part of a travel that you check many times before you leave.

There is also an important point which I have been thinking about a lot : the budget. I have to calculate the amount of money I will need to travel (for the planes, coaches, taxis), the activities I will do during my free-time or with the kids I am taking care of, and of course the unforeseen events. So I have to think about this because when you travel, lack of money is probably one of the most contrarious problems you can meet. Of course I will be paid by the families but this money may not allow me to do whatever I want depending on my needs.
Taffy
 
Posts: 57
Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2014 8:50 pm

I Need Help To Correct My English Essay Plz :)?

Postby Koshisigre » Wed Oct 04, 2017 3:32 pm

« We must travel in the direction of our fears » (Berryman, John)

According to me, this quote sums up the whole underlying interest of my gap year (or of any travel generally speaking). Of course if one decides to go inTO a foreign country, the aim is to meet people with another culture, to discover new places and also to improve your language skills. However I think that a year-long travel experience should be the occasion to learn more about me and to surpass myself. All the things I will go through during one year will hopefully make me become more independent and resourceful.


A gap year is not a random trip : you leave your family and friends for a very long time and it is very important to be prepared FOR it. Even though I do not usually have homesickness when I am abroad, this experience is going to be different because it will be harder to see my family since I have to work. Indeed I will not be able to come back really often. This is probably the only ?real? disadvantage of such an experience. Of course I am not saying that I am not going to miss my family but I hope that I will be able to see this difficulty as a challenge. Maybe it will be hard some days and I will probably miss my entourage (an entourage is the group of people around a person, waiting on them, assisting them, like the people traveling with a celebrity: manager, make up, photographer, personal assistent etc. "friends and family" would be better here) but I think that (NO THE) more important is also to see how much I will gain culturally speaking.

One of my main apprehensions about this travel is its preparation. Of course if it is only about things such as clothes you can still manage to come back on your free time or ask someone to send it TO you. I am more anxious concerning all the documents such as identity card, European health insurance card? But this is of course is THE part of a TRIP that you check many times before you leave.

There is also an important point which I have been thinking about a lot : the budget. I have to calculate the amount of money I will need to travel for TRANSPORT (planes, coaches, taxis),FOR the activities I will UNDERTAKE during my free-time or with the kids I am taking care of, and of course FOR unforeseen events. So I have to think about this because when you travel, lack of money is probably one of the most contrarious problems you can meet. Of course I will be paid by the families but this money may not allow me to do whatever I want depending on my needs.
Koshisigre
 
Posts: 57
Joined: Tue Jan 07, 2014 8:55 pm


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