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How Do I Make Sure My Ex Husband Doesn't Get Sole Custody Through A Modification?

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How Do I Make Sure My Ex Husband Doesn't Get Sole Custody Through A Modification?

Postby Gotthard » Wed Sep 27, 2017 10:24 pm

I live in South Carolina and I was served with paperwork yesterday.
My ex husband is wanting sole custody of our children. Our current agreement was finalized less then a year and a half ago.
We have joint custody with me being the primary.
He has visitation every other weekend and one afternoon during the off week, every other holiday and 4 non consecutive weeks during the summer.
His basis of the case are: excessive tardies and absences, mental abuse, putting my needs before my childrens', and my 13 year old wants to live with him.
The only truth to these 4 items is the excessive tardies for my 2nd grader only and my 13 year old wants to live with him. I have no excuse for the tardies and most of the time the tardies were a result of us walking through the door of the school as the bell was ringing.
We are working making sure the tardies will not occur any more.
I have no clue what he is referring to with the other 2 items.
I have been the primary caregiver for my children for their whole lives.
I have been with the same company for almost 6 years.
I have my BS, work full time and provide everything for my children (insurance, childcare, etc.) and my ex does pay monthly child support which I agreed to lowering prior to the finalization of our current agreement.
I have never denied him his visitation and allowed additional time when there were not schedule conflicts.

I spoke to an attorney today and he doesn't believe my ex has a very strong case but since I want to keep my kids I will still have to fight, which will be very expensive, and the decision will be completely up to the judge. My kids are my life and I am heart broken they are having to go through this but I have to fight for what I believe is best for them.
I do not believe their father is doing this for them.
He has recently married the paramour involved in our divorce proceedings and they have built a new house down the street from me.
Through the small community grapevine I have heard she is not able to have children.
I know my ex does not like paying the child support and I suspect his new wife wants children.

I want to insure my custody stays the same.
My kids have been through enough in the last few years and if I was a child I would want to live in a new house where it's fun all of the time and have no responsibilities.
Children do not always understand what is best for them.

If you have ideas that can help me it's appreciated.
I am still worried...
Posts: 45
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2014 7:16 pm

How Do I Make Sure My Ex Husband Doesn't Get Sole Custody Through A Modification?

Postby Harti » Sun Oct 01, 2017 5:12 am

I lived with a women and one of her daughter loved her father so much. He was a drunk. We let her go live with him. Two weeks later his wife wanted her out of the house. Her grades dropped she was skipping school. We took her back knowing she could never leave again.
If you two was better parents and keep communication going for the better of the children You never would have to go back to court. Where i live at 13 the child can make up their own mind. So by you wanting to keep a child that wants to leave you may have blown you chance at getting your 13 year old back. Once the court decides it is final unless you can prove different and you have the money to fight.
Posts: 68
Joined: Wed Jan 15, 2014 6:17 am

How Do I Make Sure My Ex Husband Doesn't Get Sole Custody Through A Modification?

Postby Balduin » Wed Oct 04, 2017 1:22 pm

Unless there's been some change in circumstances unforeseen at the time of the dissolution of marriage the custody will remain the same. And what I mean by that is, that you yourself have changed in a way or the home environment has changed in a way that was not known at the time you were awarded custody.

Your ex lives a few doors down from you. Obviously he loves the kids too.

What's the difference where the children live? They live in the same neighborhood and if they want to visit their dad, he's right down the street.

Let me make a suggestion here. Why are you worried and why is he asking for this? If he lives down the street and he wants the children, then here's what you do. You have shared custody. They're free to visit dad all they want. Its silly to keep them apart.

In the meantime, maybe you and his new wife can make amends and start thinking about the kids and how best to help raise them. Maybe his new wife cares about your children too.

In either event, there's no point in fighting. Him asking for a change in custody, and you fighting to keep it won't matter if the only difference is that dad moved down the street and is closer to his kids.
Posts: 56
Joined: Fri Feb 21, 2014 7:10 am

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