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I Don't Know If I Will Ever Be Happy?

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I Don't Know If I Will Ever Be Happy?

Postby mahoney » Sun Oct 08, 2017 5:50 am

i was abused as a child but never told anyone, my mum killed her self when i was 15, my dad though me and my sister out of the house sold it and remarried straight away and never stayed in contact, i had to drop out of school and start working so i have no collage education, i fell pregnant with a french man when i was 19 and after baby was 4 months move to france with him, i feel pregnant Again Straight away and i now have tow children 15 months apart, the oldest is now 4 years old and the youngest is 3 years old now, the father of the children kicked me in the stomach when i was pregnant and then things got really bad after the birth of my second baby he started to beat me on a regular bases i phoned the French police for help and they didn't even come, or do anything for that matter, to he how so he got away with it,we lived in the country and he would leave me and the children their for days alone, i wasn't allowed money of me or the children, it was to far to walk to the nearest town i was a prisoner, i manage to get away from him and feel head over heels in love for the first time in my life with another french man, things moved quickly we moved in together and got engaged we planned our life out together. mean while the father of the children only lets me have the children 1 week here one week their, i feel like a total failure to my children for letting this happen. the man i got engaged to was my whole life he was my best Friend but last week he broke up with me as he is seeing another girl, but i all came as a huge shock we never had fights with each Other, ever, we always talked if something was annoying us straight away. one night he went out with Friends and before he left he told me he loved me then the next morning if i tried to touch him its as if he is scared of me after a week of that i confronted him and he told me he no longer loves me, but he wants us to go to counseling together to see if we could make it together but he is not willing to stop seeing the Other girl, i say girl as she is only 20 years old. then one night after all this happen we where having a few drinks in the house and he was Pretty drunk but he kissed me and said sorry then all of a sudden he changes his mind and says that it was a mistack, i have never felt so low in my life not even when my mum left me all alone, i tried to take an over dose but he stopped me then the following night i tried to slit my wrists from palm to the elbow bit, but he phone the police and the toke me to hospitable where i had to talk to a shrink, i told them what they wanted to hear and i was out in 2hours but i feel like it would be better just to end everything. im going to make an appointment with the doctor and try and find out how i can see a shrink but i have to wait till my new card for insurance comes through.the worst part is im pregnant again he doesn't know and i don't know if i should tell him, i have no Friends here what so ever, so i can speak to anyone, and i find i hard to make Friends my french is quick good but if you don't have the accent in france no one listens to you as they are brought up here believing that non french people have caused the problem is France today, i feels good to write this all down i hope you don't mind,
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Joined: Fri Apr 01, 2011 1:59 am

I Don't Know If I Will Ever Be Happy?

Postby Haukr » Mon Oct 09, 2017 1:49 am

Just be strong and have confidence and BELIEVE that everything is going to get better i know its hard but try to be positive cause when u smile life smiles back at u .. forget ur past and think of ur future .... dont have any worries and stand up for ur rights dont show them that ur weak ! ever ! cause that will only make them harder on u .. dont show ur weakness just try to be happy .. thats all i can tell u hope i helped u and btw u can be happy if u want to ;) and btw suicide id NEVER the answer .. do u want ur kids to live what your living if u love them then i think u wouldn't want that
Posts: 54
Joined: Wed Jan 29, 2014 4:28 pm

I Don't Know If I Will Ever Be Happy?

Postby Tierney » Tue Oct 10, 2017 6:08 pm

Dear one,

This is going to sound harsh - but it is not meant to be.

I realize you are asking for help; but this is the internet, and trying to get psychological help from strangers on the internet is worthless. You will be woefully disappointed with the answers.

From your post, you do sound like you are trying to get some kind of professional help - which is to your credit.

As for friends? Well, not everyone will be your friend - not even in your own native country. The way to have a friend is to BE a friend. Sadly, and I'm French, by the way, France can be a difficult place to have and be friends with people.
Posts: 51
Joined: Sat Feb 01, 2014 3:41 pm

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