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Don't Know If I'm Being Abused By My Husband, Constant Put Downs?

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Don't Know If I'm Being Abused By My Husband, Constant Put Downs?

Postby Whitney » Fri Oct 06, 2017 12:46 pm

I feel silly asking yahoo answers this but I honestly have no healthy friends or family to help me with this. I'm getting a counselor but I don't have my first appointment until next week. This may be a long story but I hope some of you will read it. I am 19 and my husband is 26. We got married five months ago, he has a daughter from a previous marriage and it very wealthy and a supposed "devoted christian." I'm broke, with severe health issues, I come from abusive parents and an abusive ex, and have nowhere else to go.

Ever since we got married he says constantly that I lied to get him to marry me because I said I'd go to church more than I do, and said I cook and clean better than i do. He said I'm decietful, and a sinner. Because I think smoking cig's and drinking a few times a year is okay. I have severe health issues, and am having major surgery in January...and am on vicodin because of it...and he says I'm an "addict." I take one vicodin every few days when I'm having severe abdominal pain that literally makes me fall to my knees. He controls my pills like I'm a crackhead. I have a history of drug abuse with street drugs, but have since quit. He forced me to go talk to a rehab place and that was a joke. I HATE pills, and only take them when in pain. So on top of me being an addict in his book, he says I'm lazy...a horrible cook...a bad step mother because I'm 19 and don't have any practice...am trying to trap him into having a baby (We have had two miscarriages in 5 months, and he refuses to have sex without condoms) because he says he doesn't want a baby with someone like me....

He told me tonight his heart wasn't 100% in this, that he didn't know where we'd be in a year, that he wasn't 100% sure what he wanted...and then he left. He then told me i could stay and he never told me to leave and that I WAS THE ONE that wanted out.


My only places to go are home to my overly religious, physically abusive father with my passive mother...or to my aunts house, and she has borderline personality disorder...or to my grandparents house, and my grandfather molested my mom and aunt there whole childhood. I don't have a dime to my name, the ony thing I have are my clothes and my car. No health insurance without him, nothing.

What in the hell do I do? What are my rights?

He isn't hitting me, so it's not really abuse, is it? Am I overreacting? I'm so confused, and heartbroken. :(
Whitney
 
Posts: 52
Joined: Sat Jan 18, 2014 11:33 am

Don't Know If I'm Being Abused By My Husband, Constant Put Downs?

Postby Neeheeoeewootis » Fri Oct 06, 2017 5:42 pm

It's not physical abuse, but he's not treating you right. If you stay with him, things will only get worse. You should've never married him in the first place, and I have a feeling you knew that but did it anyways.
Neeheeoeewootis
 
Posts: 45
Joined: Tue Jan 07, 2014 11:13 pm

Don't Know If I'm Being Abused By My Husband, Constant Put Downs?

Postby Gow » Fri Oct 06, 2017 6:45 pm

He was a completely different person before I married him. Sweet and kind, told me he'd take care of me and he knew i had health issues...it changed 100% immediately after I said I do. I meant those vows and don't want to break them, but don't want to hurt constantly either. :/

I don't know where else to go or what else to do!
Gow
 
Posts: 48
Joined: Sun Apr 20, 2014 11:14 am

Don't Know If I'm Being Abused By My Husband, Constant Put Downs?

Postby Carny » Sat Oct 07, 2017 3:30 pm

yes.
when a dude puts down a chick it's always called 'verbal abuse.' of course when a chick puts down a dude it's called 'constructive criticism' and society approves it and praises her for it.
Carny
 
Posts: 53
Joined: Fri Jan 03, 2014 7:41 pm

Don't Know If I'm Being Abused By My Husband, Constant Put Downs?

Postby Fagen » Sun Oct 08, 2017 10:02 am

emotional and verbal abuse hurts just as much as physical. It most certainly is abuse and you need to get out of this marriage now if you ever want to lessen your mental issues. his abuse can cause (or further if you have it already) depression. being with him will not help you at all. He treats you like a second class citizen and that is not right at all. Divorce him.

He said himself he wasn't fully in this so he doesn't want to be there either.
Fagen
 
Posts: 45
Joined: Fri Mar 21, 2014 12:18 am

Don't Know If I'm Being Abused By My Husband, Constant Put Downs?

Postby Birk » Mon Oct 09, 2017 8:42 am

You are being abused.
Pack your bags.
If you have any access to joint accounts, grab yourself a wodge of cash on the way out. Go to your parents' your friends, a shelter, anywhere.
Birk
 
Posts: 42
Joined: Thu Mar 13, 2014 1:22 am


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