I'm not expecting to die anytime soon but you never know, so I want to be prepared. I have a 7 yr old daughter, her biological father and I are divorced. I have custody, he has visitation, which he takes about twice a month.

For the last 4 years my daughter has been raised by me and my new husband. My new husband adores her and she adores him. She would be absolutely devastated as would he, if they were taken from each other.

If something happens to me, how can I ensure that my daughter and her stepdad still get to see each other? I have no doubt her real father would take her, and she'd be raised by babysitters! Is there a way to give her stepfather custody and her real dad still have visitation? That would be ideal. Or can I at least ensure that her stepdad gets visitation?

Also, how do I ensure that her real father gets none of my life insurance that's in my daughters name?

Your ex husband would not get your life insurance as it would be in trust for your daughter until she is 18 and sadly your new husband would have no right should you die regardless of what you put in place unless your new husband legally adopts your daughter.

Finding a good lawyer that deals with such issues is your first step. The laws on this topic vary from state to state. By specifying in a will, who gets your money and when, her real father will never receive a dime. If you would like to see your daughter receive most or all of your assets, I'd like to suggest the following: Consider spreading out your 'gift' over time. Most kids who get a 'lump sum' blow it immediately. Divide you assets into three parts over 30 years. State in your will that at 22 she receives 33%. This way she'll be able to pay off her college loan. When she turns 32 (as an example) she gets the next 33% (she'll be able to buy or place a deposit on a home). At 42, she gets the balance. If she blows the 1st "installment", the balance of the money placed in a money-making vechicle (Bonds or bank note) will increase over the next 10 years and recover it's original value. By the time 10 years pass, she might wise enough not to waste the 2nd installment.

Finding a good lawyer that deals with such issues is your first step. The laws on this topic vary from state to state. By specifying in a will, who gets your money and when, her real father will never receive a dime. If you would like to see your daughter receive most or all of your assets, I'd like to suggest the following: Consider spreading out your 'gift' over time. Most kids who get a 'lump sum' blow it immediately. Divide you assets into three parts over 30 years. State in your will that at 22 she receives 33%. This way she'll be able to pay off her college loan. When she turns 32 (as an example) she gets the next 33% (she'll be able to buy or place a deposit on a home). At 42, she gets the balance. If she blows the 1st "installment", the balance of the money placed in a money-making vechicle (Bonds or bank note) will increase over the next 10 years and recover it's original value. By the time 10 years pass, she might wise enough not to waste the 2nd installment.

Andre seems to have a reasonable answer. I would just add that might want to check out the articles I cite below for some more details. Trusts for minor children have special considerations which evidently you have already been considering. The key to making your wishes a reality is making that arrangement legally binding, and that is only going to happen if you get the papers drawn up by an experienced, qualified, competent lawyer. Some people go for the kits that some firms sell, but I think in your situation I would avoid them and go through the extra expense of talking face-to-face with a lawyer. I think the peace of mind will be worth it.